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How to Connect With Yourself

We assume that we are connected to ourselves all the time or most of the time. But this is not true. We regularly get disconnected from ourselves. This happens because we are fully focused on checking our ‘to-do list’ or because we prefer to focus on others. It is, therefore, very easy to get disconnected. Fortunately, there are exercises that can be used to ‘bing ourselves back.’

If we are stuck in our head, then we go too far into the future, obsessing about things that are product of our thoughts. Alternatively, we revisit our past, and re-examine things that have already happened. In both the cases, we are not here. Eckhart Tolle has said: “Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”

Many people live on auto-pilot, without asking themselves how they are feeling RIGHT NOW

Are our thoughts, words and actions congruent and aligned? Sometimes we meditate, do yoga, and we lead a harmonious family life, but we forget that the most important thing is to remain connected with ourselves. If we always only perceive the outside world, without looking at our inner life as if we were non-existent, then we are disconnected.

It is necessary to do inner work on a daily basis

Many people attend spiritual therapies, conferences or wellness retreats once in a while. The effect is that they temporarily feel good, energized and confident that they will apply the tools they have just learnt. But what happens after that? We rarely follow up. Why is it so?

An internal incongruence takes over your ability to perform well

While thinking, you are in a conscious state of mind. However, your actions and behaviors are generally generated from tacit knowledge (from your unconscious), and are thus more robotic. When these two systems, conscious thoughts/inner voice and unconscious actions/behaviors are not supporting one another, an internal incongruence occurs and it can quickly take over your ability to perform well.

Spiritual disconnect is when we do not ask ourselves: What do I want?

Over the time, due to this inner incongruence, we get out-of-balance. We start experiencing spiritual disconnect. We do not ask ourselves what it is that we need. We can remain in that state of spiritual disconnect for a long time. On the other hand, it is possible to one day wake up and realize how misaligned our life has been, and that we need to do something for our Soul, instead of escaping in addictions and specific types of behavior. Addictions to entertainment, food, substance abuse and technology are simply distractors.

There are 4 signs that you are disconnected from yourself:

1) You are unhealthy (in mind, body and/or soul)

2) You are overly codependent (confused, disoriented, feeling out of place, focusing primarily on precarious things and situations)

3) Money has become greater than your heart (We have many misconception about money; nobody teaches us that we need to find our passion; we follow the education-work path, but we forget what is good for our Soul and what makes us happy. Money should be a side effect of doing something that you love. Doing something that you love is the most spiritually empowering thing that you can do. We have to flip our perception about money.)

4) Your ego rules over your soul (There is a saying: “A bad day for your ego is a good day for your Soul.” Ego is afraid of changes. When you are afraid of change, there can be no transformation. And transformation is the essence of spirituality. You should not be stuck in your comfort zone; you need to stretch it in order to get to your Soul. We can recognize the ways in which the Ego is putting us down; it always wants to be in control. Check the quality of your thoughts and what your Inner Self is telling you.)

How important is to be connected, and how to be connected?

Living connected to the deepest part of ourselves is the way to heal all manifestation of the physical and emotional body. Connection means being in alignment with your Higher Self, feeling capable, strong, loving and compassionate. But when you recognize that you are disconnected, do not judge yourself. Instead, make a pause and recognize that there is something missing in your life. We should not be complaining, because we create whatever happens in our lives. Therefore, instead of self-judging and complaining, we need to find out what it takes to move on. We need to act. Another trap is to wait for tangible things to happen in our life. In doing so, we miss the beautiful insights we can gain from simple things, such as a walk in nature. This is the first step in your inner work.

Ask yourself:

  • What are you missing in order to get where you want to be?

  • Have you realized how distracting life is, and how easy it is to get out of your path and not being aligned with yourself?

  • Your body and your emotions can be strong indicators of how disconnected you are; stop your inner dialogue and ask yourself how you describe your feelings: as pleasant, calm, deliriously exciting, tense, sore, angry? Are you experiencing difficulty in breathing?

  • Can you describe your feelings in color? Are they bright, radiant and omnipresent, or dense and dark? Put your feelings in words. Typically, feelings associated with bright colors indicate congruence, while those associated with dark/opaque colors mean that you have been living in an incongruent state.

Tools to help bring alignment within:

  • Meditation and journaling

  • Movement (go for a walk or do some yoga, in order to connect to your body)

  • Prayer

  • Do some deep breathing ( a simple, five-breath technique: breathe in for 5 seconds, hold your breath for 5 seconds, and exhale for 5 seconds - repeat this 5 times)

  • Connect with someone you love (hug your child, spouse or pet).

Watch the Global Master Talk by Marlen Squires at:

Marlene Squires is a spiritual coach and energy healer founder of Awaken Vibrations from Mexico.

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